Teddy picked up Goat from School.
Goat had grown accustomed to a lift home
Especially if lacrosse
Was last period.
Teddy’s sandals were too tight
So she replaced them with lace-ups
This was fine until worm
Came round for coffee.
Teddy and Goat were at the Opera.
Teddy had trouble following the story
So goat gave her some tips.
Is like a sneeze
It tells you something is wrong
It’s a tease.”
Teddy thought she understood
But still found the rhythm troubling.
Teddy was driving with Goat.
Goat was playing I-Spy with Eel.
This was made difficult by Eels insistence
That Goat play in shorts.
“That’s not really fair” said Teddy to Goat
After all, you know all the answers.
Teddy trod the wobbly bridge
It made her hair stand on end.
“How embarrassing” she whispered
Passing a man she recognised
From the National Childbirth Trust.
Teddy lost Wallet – oh disaster
Teddy sneezed reaching for her inhaler
For her asthma
But she knew the
Would come home later
As she would not have the
Teddy’s soap was pineapple flavour
This confused Snail
As pineapples tended to trip him up
But he thought he would risk it
And enjoyed a weekends skating.
Teddy saw a rainbow
She thought this was strange so
Teddy wanted to be a pilot
But in planes he was sick a lot
Especially after Apple Charlotte
So he decided it was not
A good career path.
Instead he would be a crooner
Then all the koalas would swoon a
Lot and throw their bloomers
And he would get to sing a tune a
Bit like Kiri Te Kanawa.
Teddy’ s flat was in Camberwell
Next to the tube, past the dry cleaners, very near Eel’s.
They passed each other most mornings
But Teddy did not wave
To avoid hurting Eel’s feelings.
‘Dartford bridge sprawls as roadkill
The sky belches black snow that tars and fills
The road that once flowed, now that stops still.
The glacial lanes tumble untethered
Cherubic curls of warm butter they slither
The toasted Thames flatbread dry river.’
Teddy wrote this while thinking about Trevor
MacDonald and Dartford. She had never
Forgotten the time when they went to Boots together.
Teddy was writing an e-mail.
Then her pencil broke.
‘Well bless my paws and my tail
That’s the most terrible stroke
Of bad luck
Now I will have to start again
Dear Frances, thank you for the most
Acceptable gift. A railway train
Will be very useful for trips to the coast
Teddy was bleaching her cloths
When some spilled on her paw
Now she had one brown one and white one
She decided this would be handy
When eating Turkish Delight or Chocolate Buttons.
Teddy scowled at the lollipop lady
Poor Hedgehog she thought
And he had only recently
Teddy was fascinated by
The two swans on the bus.
She knew they belonged to the Queen
So why take umbrage
When passing the Odeon.
Teddy looked at the tadpoles
While she ate a birthday tea
The tadpoles looked at Teddy
Covered in red jelly
And thought of home.
Teddy liked liquorice
It reminded her
Of her piano teacher and
The struggle she had had
With the Scriabin.
Teddy lit a candle
For Grasshopper’s birthday.
Grasshopper bought party poppers and currants
And the two friends
Made a firework and a cake.
Teddy spun on the gramophone
Lke candy floss spins on a stick
The strands of sugared fur flew off
Making Teddy a little bit sick
Not to say bare.